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Dec. 14th, 2013

I have no interest in being friends with a person like you. At all.

Stop.

Stop posting crap on the internet about me. It was only one thing, but it was enough. Screw you. You think I'm vapid and shallow and a stupid little teenage girl. You're the one who acted like a little kid and got us to where we are. I say something about losing 5 pounds, and then you feel the need to put something on tumblr about it and how I shouldn't care about what other people think of me and live for other people's attention. I DO NOT. It was a passing comment that wasn't even to you. so stop. stop being in life. stop being an asshole. stop thinking about me. stop looking at me. stop.

Tags:

End of Summer

I'm starting senior year. It feels so weird; I'm not ready, and so much is always going on. I feel like everyone is at a point in their lives where they have so many problems and no one can help each other because they're so involved in themselves that they can't stop for a second and look around. My mom is starting seminary and her lack of interest in me and my feelings and life has already started. She's unbelievable. What's annoying is that even though things are going that well mentally and emotionally for me, everything else is like great. Almost all of my summer work is done and I'm training faster than ever for cross country. But I just want to crawl inside myself and quit everything. With my dad's musical and my mom at school there is no one to help me apply for colleges and I have no idea what I am doing.

Drowning inside my head.

Why did you have to tell me that you *really* like me 2 days before you go to Haiti for a week? Why did you have to do it when you know I'm totally happy with my boyfriend of 6 months? Why did you have to do when you knew that i might like you back? my head won't stop. I want you to come back, but it won't clear my mind anymore. I'm trapped.

Writer's Block: No. 1 hits

Which is your favorite classic Beatles’ song, and why?


I love eleanor rigby. just thinking about all of the people alone in the world, it's just a crazy thing.

Goodbyes

I've always sucked at them.

In the seventh grade when i moved and switched schools, i didn't tell any of my friends.

So now, what do i say to someone who has been around my entire life and is leaving for a year?
I have no clue, i thought i did, but i don't.

I wish this all was easier

Dreams

Mine are weird.

For gym class we couldn't change at school, so we changed in the basement of a nice asian family. i took my sweet time because it's the end of the year, and i didn't care. i took so long that everyone went back to school without me. so i just cleaned out my locker and took the stuff upstairs. the family was having dinner, which is weird. and the entire house was decorated for christmas. i also cleaned out a HUGE black garbage bag from my locker and a smallish red and white christmas tree. i decided i should go home because brew wasn't coming back for me. but i went without shoes, so i had to go back and get them. my mom was eating there when i got back, and she told me she didn't have the car so she couldn't take me home, and then gretchen yelled through the window.


i had one last night that tyler cheated on me with Val schiano in a cheap motel and i just laughed and laughed. and cosie did it with katherine...
I noticed that I really only write on here in the summer, but I doubt that will actually change! Anywho, it's summmer, but the weather is crap, so not really. My parents are away for the night to celebrate their anniversary, so it's just me and my sisters, it's not bad! I happen to have a boyfriend at the moment, it's quite shocking. My father is doing pretty bad with this, but he's starting to improve. I don't know how long this relationship will last though, because Tyler is obviously still hung up on his ex. I'm ignoring it at the moment, but if it lasts too much longer, i don't know what i will do. I'm so tired all the time, I think it's the anemia and I haven't been taking my iron pills. But i feel like i should have more energy now that it's summer, but I've got just as little as usual.
I talked to Sharon a few weeks ago about how i feel like we are going to end up like her and Marta, and she couldn't believe it. She said we would never end up like that. I still think we will. I noticed that she has a pattern of going through best friends almost like water. She's had tons, and none of them last all that long. I think that I'm just another one in the line, but i could be wrong, who knows?
I've been working to move up in the class rank, I'm going for 3rd, but after my exams i don't think it's going to happen. Everyone else just has more time than i do to work on things. Next is going to be awful, i shouldn't have signed up for so many classes.
This is all I have to say at the moment, goodbye!
I feel like I got punched in the heart, because I basically did. I hate you

Oct. 16th, 2010

I like you. So please stop coming on so strong, because you're scaring the hell out of me. I want this to work, please don't ruin it. I really can't take all this right now.